Nobody’s Perfect

As I near my 51^st birthday, I have spent some time thinking about myself and my life. One of the biggest areas I have struggled with is self-inflicted stress and anxiety. I’m a perfectionist, so I’m always striving to be the best I can be.

The trouble with this mindset is that it often leads to comparison. It’s easy to look at colleagues in the industry, compare myself to how they look or what they have accomplished, and feel as though I am falling short.

What I’ve realized is that nobody is perfect. We all deal with this internal struggle. However, I have come to several realizations in determining how to prevent this negative mindset from taking over.

1. Me versus me. We must stop comparing ourselves to others. The only person you should be competing with is yourself. Continue to make small efforts today and you’ll be better off tomorrow.
2. This is a journey, not a destination. Keep working toward your goals each day. You may take a step back here and there, but you’re not out of the race.
3. Seek joy. Don’t be all work and no play. Plan more activities or vacations. Take time to rest and enjoy life.
4. Focus on your why. My why is to be here for my unborn grandchildren and family. It’s not about being the best in the industry or achieving perfection. Don’t let comparison confuse you about why you started in the first place.

We are human. We all have good days and bad days. As members of the 40 Plus Fitness Community, we can support each other throughout the journey.

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A better way to do new year’s resolutions

At the beginning of a new year, many people will set New Year’s resolutions. However, 92% of people who make these resolutions don’t stick to them. Why is this? It is likely because the resolution is not yet a commitment.

In order to be successful in meeting any goal, you must be committed. To get clear on your level of commitment, you must first ask yourself why you are making this resolution. What is your why?

When you know why you want to achieve this goal, couple that why with a vision for what your future will look like when you reach your goal. What is your vision of what health and fitness looks like? When you keep your why and vision top of mind, you then have a vow or commitment to do these things for yourself because you know exactly why you are doing them and are driven to achieve your desired end result.

However, having the vision is only have the battle. If you’re not willing to do the work to make your vision a reality, you won’t be successful. Do you love yourself enough to make this vow? If so, create a plan and stick with it.

This year, don’t just make new year’s resolutions. Make a commitment to become a better version of yourself. If you need help, check out the Surefire Results for Weight Loss Program. This is a program that provides real results through focusing on three lifestyle changes. You’ll also have access to me as your trainer and a private Facebook group for accountability. This program has a money-back guarantee, so don’t delay!

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What I've learned this year

Mindset – vanity/self-confidence

When we start seeing results from our hard work, we are often put in a weird place.  If we don't have the right mindset, the reactions of the people around us can set us back.  Is it vanity to be happy you look and feel better?

Mindset – feeling bad about being different

People love to congregate with people who are similar to themselves.  When you break out by changing your body, you may find the people around you begin treating your different.  Taking the time to understand this mindset can keep you from being derailed.  In fact, this is a great opportunity for you to reach out and help bring them along with you.

Mindset – feeling great about your success

I'm someone who feeds on success.  As a result, I also have a tendency to let failure bring me down.  Over the Thanksgiving holiday, I didn't eat well.  I had a terrible cold, so I didn't exercise.  I felt I had lost some ground, but upon stepping on the scale, I had not gained an ounce.  I'm not realizing I need to start getting refocused to feed my success engine.

Would you do me a favor?

If you do any shopping on Amazon, you can support this podcast by using the link below (it won't cost you anything, but the podcast gets a small commission):

Thank you!

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Emotional roadblocks in health and fitness | Ellen Shuman

Positively Resilient with Doug Hensch

Doug Hensch is a certified executive coach, consultant, corporate trainer, and author of Positively Resilient. In this book, Doug examines the central theme that, “you can bounce back from anything.”

We all have different ways of getting through the difficult times in life. Many times, you will realize that you have crossover skills from a previous difficulty you overcame that will help you through a current challenge. The approach of this book is that you can bounce back from any physical, mental, or professional calamity.

Doug explains that optimism is a skill. While some people are naturally optimistic, it is a skill which you can build. The key is to focus on the positive, while not denying the negative. Channel your energy toward what is controllable and exhibit a realistic, not forced, sense of optimism.

One way to drive optimism is through setting goals. When you achieve small goals every day, your optimism is more effective because it is coming from your own success rather than simply being told to be optimistic. You are the best example of your own optimism. Use those accomplishments as fuel to be a better you tomorrow. Focus on incrementalism and build momentum.

While some perceive quitting as a negative, it can be used to be more resilient. Many people are stuck in situations they don’t like, whether personal or professional. Identify your deeply held values and made decisions accordingly. You may find that quitting something that’s not serving you could mean opening another door to winning.

To learn more about Positively Resilient or to connect with Doug Hensch directly, visit www.drh-group.com. You can also find Doug on Twitter at @doughensch.

Is your inner voice a nice person?

Our inner voice is a very powerful thing.  It drives our mood and feelings, and it can determine whether we will be successful in our health and fitness journey.

I'd like you to take a few minutes to do an inner voice audit.  Answer the following questions (you may want a pen and pad to write down a few notes):

• Think about your current health or fitness.  What words come to mind?
• What are your health and fitness expectations in one, three, and ten years?
• When you slip up, what is your tendancy?  Do you stay focused on that or do you look to move on?

Now take a few minutes to think about this.  Would you use the same words to address someone you love?

The good news: you can change your inner voice.

I'm currently reading Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck, PhD. Yes, I actually read more than just health, fitness, and weight loss books. This best-selling book has been out for a while and has gotten a ton of praise in the business and education fields. That said, I think there are some very practical applications for someone on a health and fitness journey. I'll include a link to the book at the end of this post.

In the book, Dr. Dweck explains that mindset typically takes one of two natures:

1. Fixed Mindset – People with this mindset believe that we are who we are and cannot change.  They believe intelligence is fixed and cannot be improved with effort.  They believe we are who we are and cannot change our behavior, habits and thoughts. When they fail at something, tend to stick with things they're good at and avoid the challenge.
2. Growth Mindset – People with this mindset believe that we can change and improve.  They believe intelligence can be improved with effort. They believe we can change and become better people. When they fail, the see it as an opportunity to learn and improve and relish the challenge.

Maybe you feel you have a little bit of both. Or maybe you think intelligence can be improved but we can't change who we inherently are deep inside.  That's okay.  Rather you're squarely in one or the other, or have some of both, you can move into a growth mindset, which in the end is the inner voice you need.

How do I change my inner voice?

You can improve your inner voice with a few practices:

1. Awareness/mindfulness
2. A proof-based mantra – I know I will be healthier because…
3. Gratitude
4. Immediate return to plan

So, is your inner voice a nice person?

If isn't, now you know you can fix that.

The love diet | Dr. Connie Gutterson

Naked in 30 days | Theresa Roemer

A funeral for my fat | Sharee Samuels

In her book A Funeral For My Fat, Sharee Samuels chronicles her 100+ pound weight loss over a five year period.

Self Love

One concept that Sharee recommended was for you to write a letter to yourself.  This letter should demonstrate the strength you have and the love you have for yourself.  Documenting this self-love is valuable because you are able to go back and read this letter to yourself when you're down and out.

Find something you love

Sharee also recommends you find something you love.  For her, workout out was a drudgery, and she could never motivate and push herself.  That was until she found Zumba.  She loved Zumba and that helped her stay motivated and on track with exercise.

Know yourself

Sharee is a big proponent in knowing yourself.  She knows she is not one who can handle moderation.  Therefore she can't approach food and have just one chip.  She now focuses on her strength, which is planning.  Knowing yourself allows you to take your own path to health and fitness.

Plateau

Sharee uses an acronym – EFFORT to break through a plateau.

• Exercise – Are you doing enough?  Are you doing too much?
• Food – Are you eating too much?  Are you eating enough?
• Focus – Are you focused on your goal?
• Organization – Planning and setting yourself up for success.
• Rest – Are you giving your body the rest it needs?  Are you resting too much?
• Time – Are you rushing the process?  Do you have realistic expectations?

Links:

A Funeral For My Fat

Sharee Samuels

Todd loses over 300lbs

Why can’t I stop? | Dr. Bruce Odlaug

Brian Odlaug received a PhD from the University of Copenhagen in Public Health. He is knowledgeable about and conducts seminars on the topic of behavioral addiction. His new book, Why Can’t I Stop, takes a closer look at behavioral addiction.

When it comes to eating and nutrition, many people wonder if they’re actually addicted to sugar. If so, this addiction is more of an emotional and behavioral issue than simply a lack of will-power. In fact, behavioral addictions are remarkably common. They are under recognized when compared to substance addictions. Often times, there is shame and secrecy involved, and the addiction will go unnoticed and untreated. Many people will continue to function normally in their work and relationships. Over time however, their lack of presence and financial or health consequences may become evident.

So how is a food addiction diagnosed? It’s actually not a formal diagnostic set, but there are certain questions to ask and specific behaviors to look for. Typically, it’s not just the quantity of food consumed, but it involves food consumed over a longer period of time. The individual knows there are consequences to consuming the food and they have a desire to cut back, but they are unsuccessful in attempts to limit themselves. They may even give up other activities to prioritize eating. Cravings and urges are common. Those addicted to food can even become irritable or restless when they are unable to eat. Essentially, if you don’t have the ability to control your urges, you may have a problem.

So how can one overcome a food addiction? Key strategies include eating only at specific meal times, not eating alone, and removing unhealthy foods from the home. Understand your triggers and fill your time with other fun activities. Family members can also get involved by modeling healthy relationships with food, helping with cooking and controlling meals, and encouraging fun and healthy activities.

If you are struggling with a behavioral addiction, you are not alone. Though the solution may require seeing a physician and taking medication, the addiction can be addressed.

Warrior | Theresa Larsen