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Finding discipline
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Introduction
On episode 657 of the 40+ Fitness Podcast, we discuss finding discipline in your health and fitness journey.
Your Best Self Workshop – 40plusfitness.com/best.
Episode Notes
Coach Allan:
Hey, Raz. How are things?
Rachel:
Good, Allan. How are you today?
Coach Allan:
I am excellent. Thank you.
Rachel:
Good. That's good to hear.
Coach Allan:
Tammy's back.
Rachel:
So Yay. That's good.
Coach Allan:
So that's been good. And then, yes, I'm I'm in the the throes right now of launching my, workshop that starts in just a few days on on the second. That's a 5 day workshop, and it's for mindset and stuff. So some of the things we're talking about here, if this is an area where you struggle, that's what we're gonna do for those 5 sessions across 5 days. They are recorded. You know, as a bonus, I'll make those recordings available to the folks for a period of time, and there is a community, because I got a a review. The last one I did, I think I did it on a Saturday, and I did it. It it was like 4 hours. The review I got was a 3 star. It's the only 3 star review I've ever gotten. And, she said it was too long, and because no well, she said it was too long. It should have probably been broken up into at least 2 sessions.
Rachel:
Mhmm.
Coach Allan:
And and then she said because none of us none of the participants knew each other, no one was talking. Even though I was trying to solicit their involvement through the chat and through talking, no one would speak up, and she thinks that's because there wasn't a place for them to kinda get to know each other beforehand. So this has both of those. But, obviously, you know, join now. They're they're already in there having their party. So, you're gonna wanna go check it out. But it's at 40plusfitness.com/best. I'm calling it your best self workshop. Basically, everything you need to build a rock solid mindset and motivation to get you wherever you wanna go in your health and fitness.
Rachel:
That's awesome. That sounds like fun.
Coach Allan:
Alright. So what have you been up to?
Rachel:
Good. I I ran this morning, Allan. I ran 7 miles, and I am tired. I need a nap. Yeah. But it was a good run, and I have run club actually tonight. So I'm taking my break, getting my fueling in and some hydration, and I'll be ready to go again later tonight.
Coach Allan:
Yeah. So it's still kinda warm up there.
Rachel:
It is a little toasty, but it's okay. It it'll, I'm enjoying every minute of the summer.
Coach Allan:
Good. Good. Good. Alright. Are you ready to talk about discipline?
Rachel:
Sure.
Coach Allan:
Today, I wanna talk about a word used quite a bit on health and fitness, forums and Facebook groups and things like that, and the word is discipline. So today, I'm gonna help you find discipline if that's what we're really looking for. I'll describe the way this conversation typically goes. So we'll be on Facebook. There's a group. Someone's really struggling. Okay? They can't stick to the way of eating. They can't do the workouts, just, you know, a myriad of different reasons, excuses, if you will, for why they they cannot do what they want to do, and I think most of us can relate to that at some level.
Then somebody will step in and say, you just have to have discipline. You just have to get discipline. And they don't I decided, okay. 1, I don't think that's the right word. I decided I was just gonna go ahead and look it up. Okay? And in the Oxford Dictionary, it defines discipline as the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior using punishment to correct disobedience. I don't want that. Is that what you want? And and I guess what really bothers me when they throw out that statement, you just have to be disciplined.
You have to find discipline or be disciplined. When they put that out there, it's not really helping the individual because the individual who's asking the question wants to be obedient. They want to be able to follow these rules. They want to obey the code of behavior. And so they want these things, but they're not quite there. And so just telling them to do it is like when I say, I don't know how. I can't fly. And they're like, well, just fly.
Just do it. And and you and you again, I if I don't know how to do it, I can't do it. So I wanted to talk a little bit about that because if you feel like you don't have discipline, or that you don't have what you need to be successful, we gotta figure that out. So the first thing is, do you really feel like you need punishment to comply? And I think for most of us, the answer is no. But the unfortunate thing is we have that voice in our head that does punish us over and over and over again. So we are punished when we feel guilt and remorse and shame and all those different things for not complying with a certain way of eating or a certain diet or a certain exercise program or just showing up, and it's just not working. So if you're struggling to eat right, to move right, to do some of these things, I don't think you need discipline. I don't think you need punishment.
I think you need a plan. And today, I'm gonna talk through the steps that you should take to go ahead and get a good plan going for yourself, one that will help you get this done. Okay? One that will get you to a point where you basically are disciplined, if you will. You are obedient. You are obeying these codes of behavior. You've got a plan. You need a plan to get there. So your plan should start with accountability.
Most of us skip this point. We just start doing the thing, and then we stop doing the thing because it's hard. We start doing the thing, and then after a while, we don't see results, so we quit doing the thing. So what you need is you need some accountability. And so who are you bringing on your team? Because this is the team sport. Getting healthy and fit is not an individual sport. Who are you bringing on your team to hold you accountable? Should you hire a coach, a personal trainer, or a nutritionist that you'll report back to? Do you have friends and family that will that will call you out when you're not following through? That you you know, if you've told them you wanna do this and then you don't, they're gonna feel disappointed in you. Do you have those people? Now me, personally, I look for as much accountability as I can get when I'm going into something like this.
And so as you start thinking about your journey, who is there to hold you accountable? Now maybe you're saying to yourself, I can't afford to hire a coach. And the truth is that's just a self limiting belief. You probably can, but what you haven't done is you haven't committed to change. Because when you're committed, you do what's necessary. You make things happen. So let me tell you a little story about what I went through when I was struggling. So I wanted to change. I really did.
And I tried, and I tried, and I tried, and I failed, and I failed, and I failed. And I found myself 8 years down the line in worse shape than I was when I started. I was heavier. I was less healthy. I was less fit, and I was miserable. And then I was on a call with my daughter, and she said to me, daddy, will you come watch me do a CrossFit competition? And that hit me in the gut because I had never really thought of myself as a spectator in her life. I always wanted to be a participant. I wanted to be able to do things with her, not watch her.
And so I sat down, and I I had this and I sat I tell people I do this all the time, and I do. I have this meeting with myself. Okay? And I was asking myself, why is this so hard? Why is losing weight? Why is getting fit? Why is being healthy so hard? And I've done hard things before. I've done some very hard things before. And that's when it hit me. I had committed to those other things. I had not yet committed to this. So when I was committed to doing something, I put in the hours.
I spent the money. So the CPA exam that I took, okay, back then, it was a 4 part exam. The pass rate on that was astronomically hard. It was harder than the than the medical board. It was harder than law bar exam. It was it was the most difficult professional exam I think you could take. There were 4 parts. You took over 2 and a half days.
If you didn't get a minimum score on some of them, you couldn't keep any of them, and you have to come back and take all 4 again. And so I was committed to pass the exam on the first try. And so what did that look like? Well, that looked like every waking moment that I was not working full time, which I had a full time job. I wasn't working or I wasn't in school. I was studying. And even when I was in school, I was taping taking subjects that were gonna be on the exam. So I literally studied every waking moment for 3 solid months. I bought cassette tapes that I could play in my car and under my bed when I was asleep.
I bought some software. It's most at that point in time, it was the most expensive thing I had bought. It was the software that I got to study was more expensive than the computer, and computers were not cheap back then. So I'd financed a computer so I could be at home studying, and I bought this software package, And I could so I could basically take the take the practice exams over and over and over again. I I and I bought all these Gleim books, all these books that I could just they had questions. They had discussion, and I would go through those books every day. That's commitment. That's investment.
Investing time, effort, and money. So when I finally did realize that's what I needed for my health and fitness, I made that commitment. And because of my work conditions that made it difficult, I couldn't really hire a trainer and meet with a trainer all the time, and there were no online trainers. I spent tens of 1,000 of dollars to become a personal trainer, to learn what I needed to know to fix myself. I don't recommend you to go that route. It's easier today. I paid for a session with a nutritionist because I wanted to get my stuff self started. I didn't wanna wait until I was getting into the nutrition part of my education, so I paid for a nutritionist to sit down and and come up with a plan for me.
Okay. I got a DEXA scan, and with that DEXA scan, I had the ugly fat jelly picture of myself where I could see that half of my body was fat. Nearly half of my body weight was fat, and I could see it on that picture. And then I signed up for a Tough Mudder with my daughter, and that's a hard race. I didn't want to let her down. I wanted to do the race with her. I wanted to be that person. I wanted to be a participant doing something I knew my daughter would enjoy that would challenge her and definitely challenge me.
So all of these things that I did there were commitment. And so once I had commitment and some accountability because, yeah, signing up for Tough Mudder and my daughter knowing November we're gonna go do a Tough Mudder, I have to show up. I have to do the work. I did. Okay? So what I want you to do now to start this whole process by building a team that will hold you accountable, And you're going to have to invest in yourself. Nobody's ever gotten there free. They just haven't. You have to invest in either some education and accountability.
You have to invest time, effort, and money. And that's what it's gonna take. If you invest in yourself, you're never gonna regret it. I never have. So make an investment, get the accountability and support you need, and then you're ready for the next step. Now, the next step in the plan is also very important, and this is where you have to put into your headspace that you are the CEO of your body. You're making all of the decisions for your body. You decide your movement.
You decide your nutrition. You decide your thoughts. You decide your stress levels that you're gonna accept. You decide your sleep. You decide all of that. Okay? So as the CEO, if you really wanna make sure this happens, then as a CEO, you've gotta put the things in place that will help you get there. Losing weight and getting stronger is not hard. We as the CEO have not made it easy yet.
Okay. So what are some ways that we can make it easier on ourself? Okay. And then as we're talking about being the CEO, we're talking about self management. So the first thing that you're gonna do is that you're gonna start setting goals for yourself. You're not gonna go at this half baked. You're not gonna say, okay. I'm gonna lift weights a little, and I'm gonna move a little. I'm gonna go to the gym a few times.
I'm gonna eat better. But you you're not measuring that. That's not a goal. You're not gonna do it. Set goals that you can measure and get done, and then just knock them out one right after the other as you progress. The next thing you wanna look at is ways that you can use friction to make this easier. And what I mean by friction is, okay, if I know I have a weakness for cookies, I do not want them sitting on the counter when I get home from work or I'm gonna be eating some cookies. Okay.
I had a a client, and she had a habit. So each day, she'd come in from work, and she would go by and pick up the mail out of the mailbox, and she'd go into the kitchen. She'd plop the mail on the countertop there, open up the cabinet, and start snacking while she opened up the mail. And she realized that this snacking was really making it difficult for her to be successful at weight loss. So what did she do? Well, first off, she didn't go into the in the kitchen to open the mail. She went into the living room, sat at the coffee table sat at the on the couch with the coffee table, and that's where she'd open the meals. So the snacks weren't in her face. That's friction.
Not having the stuff in your house is friction. But you also want to reduce friction for things that you want to do. So having a gym that's 20 miles away isn't really a good idea because there's gonna be days you just don't feel like making that drive. But having one in your house or having one that's really, really close to your house that maybe you could even walk to, that you're gonna drive by on your way to work every morning, that's reducing friction. Coming up with workouts you can do at home, reducing friction. And then the next thing is learning from mistakes. Okay? As a CEO, your business is gonna make mistakes, or things are just gonna happen. Okay? Your your body you're gonna do things that you don't mean to do.
And what you wanna do as a CEO is to analyze that and figure out why it happened and see what you can do to prevent it. So I've told this story before, and if you've heard it, apologize, but I'm gonna say it again. When I was first getting in this, I committed, and I was like, okay. So I'm gonna work out from 2 to 3 o'clock in the afternoon at the gym closest to my house and closest to my work. I lived about an hour away from the gym. So to reduce friction at gyms, I had a gym I had a gym membership in Louisiana where I live, and I had a gym membership in Arkansas where I worked. And then eventually, I built my own home gym because I wanted to. I had 3 gyms, basically, access to 3 different gyms.
So I realized because I would get to work, I would go to get changed for the gym, and sometimes there'd just be something missing from the bag. It might be the t shirt. It might be the shorts. It might be socks. One day, it was a shoe. I had one shoe in the bag, and the other shoe was not in the bag. And I don't know how that happened, but I realized that I was probably subconsciously sabotaging my own self. So that mistake was costing me workouts that I didn't wanna miss, but, invariably, I must have because I kept not packing my bag properly.
So I printed out and laminated a piece of paper that had a list of everything that needed to be in that bag. Everything. And I would sit there each night, and I'd go each down each item that was supposed to be on that that was on that list and make sure it went into the bag. I would pack up the bag, put that list in there, close the bag, and then I would take it over and set it by the door that I was gonna use in the morning to go walk out to the carport. And I would have to step over it to go outside. So it was there. I was gonna grab it, and I I was gonna have it. That reduced the number of times I didn't work out, which meant I was more consistent, which means I got better results.
So learning from your mistakes is a big part of this journey. Don't let them break you down. Look. Don't let them make you fail. Just learn from them and move on. Forgive yourself, learn from them, and move on. Okay? And then the final bit that you're gonna wanna do as a CEO is you're gonna wanna understand who you are because some of us are wired certain ways, and some of us are wired other ways. I'm an all or nothing guy.
Okay? If if I'm on, I'm way on. If I'm off, I'm way off. There's no moderation in practically anything I do. Almost none. And so I can't go in with the plan that I'm going to moderate my sugar intake, or I'm gonna moderate my alcohol intake, or I'm gonna moderate my exercise. Once I start getting into those things, I'm all in. So good or bad, it is what it is, and I need to understand that about myself so that I'm setting up a plan that works with that. I also need to understand my mindset.
Okay? And I have a quiz at 40plusfitness.com/quiz that'll help you find your health and fitness mindset. Most of the time, these mindsets are blocking us. We're these mindsets are stepping in the way, and they're keeping us from being successful. But once you know what that mindset is, you can go ahead and and do some work on yourself and flip that mindset. So what I know about myself is that right now, I'm what I call an atlas. Well, an atlas is someone who needs direction. I need to know where I'm going. I need to have something big or something I'm going toward in front of me.
If I don't, I begin to meander. I I don't feel like I'm accomplishing anything, and I'm not I don't really feel motivated to do anything. So by me knowing that I I need to have some things in front of me, I like to challenge myself with different stuff. And that's you heard the tough mutter. That was that part of my mindset coming out was I want something big and scary in front of me, so I'll do the work because I have a lot of work to do. And I did. You might have a different mindset and need to do something slightly different. So if you go take that quiz, 40plusfitness.com/quiz, takes about 60 seconds.
It's absolutely free. You'll get a free a free report custom for you and your mindset type, and it's gonna give you some guidance on how you can use your mindset as a superpower. And once you tackle that first mindset, you may need to look at some others. I did. And then as you work through those, now you have a plan. And so as you go through this and you realize, okay. I am committed. I have accountability.
I am the CEO, and I'm making this easier and easier as I go, and I'm correcting my mistakes. Then what you're gonna start to notice is that this becomes a part of you. The things that you're doing are a part of your habits and values. The thought of not doing them doesn't make sense to you, and you begin to identify as a healthy and fit person. And as the weight comes off, this is who you are. Okay? And when these guys on the social media, say you need, I you know, discipline, they already identify as someone who does the work. So they don't they don't look back and think, well, I needed accountability. I needed, you know, to commit, and I need it because those things probably happened so early in their life, they don't even remember that happening.
You know, they they probably don't remember a high school coach telling them they need to lift weights if they wanna make the football team. They probably don't remember going out with the team and not wanting to be the slowest, weakest guy or girl. They probably don't remember a lot of that stuff. But all that stuff happened at one point in their life, and then they began to identify as someone who is healthy and fit and eats good food, does the movement, does the things. That's who they are. Now you're gonna do that too. As you get through this, you're gonna feel like this is just a part of you, and it'll be hard for you to understand someone else struggling with it, but I want you to. So don't be asked like they are.
If you see someone complaining on Facebook that they just aren't getting anywhere, realize they just don't have commitment, and they don't have a plan. So I hope this was helpful. Just to kinda summarize this again. As you look at this health and fitness journey, it's not supposed to be hard. Okay? It's not. We make it hard. We make it hard because maybe we're just not committed enough. We're not doing the stuff.
We make it hard because we don't build a team for accountability, and we make it hard because we don't step up and take ownership of ourselves and self manage as the CEO of ourselves. And then we don't do these things consistently enough that they become our values and habits, and we begin to identify as the person we're supposed to be. So if you'll take the time to do this, make the commitment, do the stuff, you will get results.
Coach Allan:
Welcome back, Raz.
Rachel:
Hey, Allan. This was a really great discussion. I mean, discipline is definitely not a super fun word, and the Nike adage, just do it, is just it's not that easy. It just takes time to develop, and I love starting with accountability. I really think that having people in your life that can support you or having, you know, run like, I talk about run clubs all the time. Having something on the schedule and having people expecting you to be there is really a great place to start.
Coach Allan:
Yes. If you can count on them. So a lot of times, I think what people do is they they start out great. They've got you know, they tell someone, I, you know, I want you to help me do this. And the person's like, absolutely. Or, you know, it's a relative or something. You're gonna walk after work. And then something happens.
Coach Allan:
They break their foot. They, you know, their hours change. Something happens, and they're not showing up.
Rachel:
Mhmm.
Coach Allan:
And that support's not there, and then you quit doing the thing. And so if you're going to look at accountability, you have to realize that accountability is a limited resource. It will run out. It will end at some point. You can get into better and better accountability. Obviously, a group is gonna be better than an individual because the individual could go away. If you're gonna hire a coach, you know, how long are you gonna hire them, and what are you gonna use them for, and everything there. So there are ways to get accountability quickly, and then there are ways to make sure that you have a more robust accountability.
Coach Allan:
And so you should be working on that, but don't stop there. You need to start working on yourself, and that's self management and then getting habits and values because we have all these ruts in our in our mind that what we used to do and how we used to do things. And so if you tell your spouse, it's like, I'm gonna eat this certain way.
Rachel:
Mhmm.
Coach Allan:
And they're like, well, I don't really wanna eat that way. And you're like, that's okay. And then they come home with, a very large pizza that's your favorite kind of pizza. And you're like, well, pizza isn't on the plan. I have my food already in the refrigerator ready to warm up and go, and they're eating pizza. And now you're eating pizza. And and so, you know, you gotta realize that some of the accountability and things that you have are actually were pulling you in the other direction. And if you don't set up good structure and you don't get into the, okay, I am the boss myself and setting your own rules and and putting strategies in place so that you know? Because, again, if you came home and had to cook and that pizza's sitting there, you are definitely eating the pizza because you're not gonna take the time to cook a meal.
Coach Allan:
But if you had your stuff pre prepped
Rachel:
Mhmm.
Coach Allan:
It's a little easier to do. And but all this has to be built out, and it has to be built out to work for you. And that's why it's such a struggle when someone will be on there, and they're really upset, and they're they can't understand why they keep failing. Mhmm. And then some dude just pipes up and says, you just gotta have discipline. And I'm like…
Rachel:
If only I have that easy. Right?
Coach Allan:
It doesn't work. Like, it doesn't work like that. Discipline is something that you've earned through doing all these things. Even if you did it when you were a teenager, you don't remember it. But, you know, as a 14 year old walks into a gym and falls in love with the gym and the people there, he had accountability. He had all the guys at the gym that were his friends.
Rachel:
Mhmm.
Coach Allan:
He got and then he got the values and the habits of going to the gym all the time. Had he started hanging out with the wrong kids that were out drinking and smoking, he would have dropped the gym in a minute. Mhmm. And then that would have been his peer group, and that would have been his path. And then he would be in his forties saying, hey, you know, I can't change. I can't figure this out. And someone else would be telling him, well, get some discipline. So that that was just what upset me is I I know I know where folks are coming from when they're struggling.
Rachel:
Mhmm.
Coach Allan:
And, you know, social media can be a harsh, harsh thing. So if someone is out there and you're struggling and you've said something and they're, like, just get some discipline, just don't listen to them. That they're not there to help you. They they think they've got everything figured out. And, you know, I'm happy they're healthy, but it's it's not gonna help you, to think that you're missing something or that something's wrong with you. Because
Rachel:
Oh, yeah.
Coach Allan:
You lack the the willpower and the discipline today to do what you need to do.
Rachel:
Well, it's just not one thing. There is no one magic bullet or one thing that is going to turn the page on anybody's health and fitness journey. I mean, it takes all these different things, and it takes a ton of practice. Discipline, accountability, being the CEO of your own body. I mean, these are things that just do not happen overnight. And and we're all after it. We all wanna get to the end quicker. But as soon as you can just get out the calendar and start putting some things down on paper or a journal or something, like, all of these different things will lead you on the right path towards the right outcome, but it's definitely not an overnight thing.
Coach Allan:
Yeah. And and I think that's the struggle is they they see successful people and think they got successful by doing what they just told you to do, and that's that's not how it works.
Rachel:
Everybody is so unique. We all have our, strengths, and we all have our weaknesses. And we just need to we all take different paths on how to achieve the same outcome, and and that's just being healthier and fitter.
Coach Allan:
Yeah. I'm glad that they're on these forums asking questions because they they're trying to get help. They're trying to surround themselves with people so they're they're at least in the right ballpark for what they need. I just wish there weren't so many people out there, you know, pooh pooh ing what they're trying to do. Right. Like like they're like they're broken. You know? You should just be able to do this. And, you know, too many times, yeah, people will sit there and say, well, okay.
Coach Allan:
I know I need to do this. I know I need to do that. I know and they start doing things, but they're not doing the things that matter, like setting this foundation first and then implementing the things that will get them where they wanna go. But, they just think, well, I know I got a diet, so I'm just gonna, you know, start eating salads every day. And, you know, not that that's a terrible thing, but you'll get 3 weeks into it, and you'll be so sick of salad that…
Rachel:
Oh my gosh. Yeah.
Coach Allan:
And then so you stop eating the salad. Or, you know, someone goes out and says, well, we're doing a lunch order over at the Italian place. Do you want something? You're looking at your pathetic little salad. You know? Like, I want something. And so, again, it's just too hard to do if you don't set these these foundational things in place. And that's why most people really, really struggle with this is they think there's something wrong with them when it's not. It's that's how we're wired and what we're gonna do until we take the time to really establish the structure. And then when we have the structure, it makes it easier and easier, and the longer we do it, the more it becomes a habit and a value.
Coach Allan:
And then, yes, now you're standing there thinking you've got the to do what you need to do. You can say no to dessert with no problem. Mhmm. Say no to pizza with no problem, and do what you do your thing. If if you have these things in place, it that it that gets easier and easier.
Rachel:
It does. It and that's just the point. It gets easier over time. And one of the things you had mentioned towards the end of your discussion was learning from your mistakes. I mean, come on. We all make mistakes. If we know that that's our weakness, if pizza's our weakness or ice cream's our weakness, you know, we can add that, friction and and kind of remove the the make the way that it gets so easy to access ice cream. If cookies are your thing, don't buy the cookies. But it's not that easy, you know? It just takes time to to figure that out.
Coach Allan:
Yeah. Well, you know, they they had these donuts, and and when I get off the elevator, and you could smell them, they just hit you. It's like, oh gosh. And then all the people are at the break room chumming like sharks, and I'm like, okay. They've got spud nuts here. I go straight to my office. Mhmm. I grab a bag of nuts, and then I go into the break room to pour my coffee.
Coach Allan:
And I sit there nibbling the nuts because what I know is that's gonna provide friction. It's gonna keep me away from those those wonderful, wonderful donuts. But at the same time, I also then had a rule. Okay? And the rule was if there were spud nuts in the break room, they wouldn't eat them all. Mhmm. So I so the rule for the rest of the day was I had to if I needed to use the bathroom or I I needed I wanted to refresh on my coffee, I couldn't do it on this floor. I had to go to a different floor. And so that meant I was walking out, walking down down the stairs.
Coach Allan:
I would stay away from our break room because our to go to the bathroom, I'd have to walk by the break room To get coffee, I'd have to go in the break room. So what I found was it's just better for me to walk in the opposite direction, go down the stairwell, and go on the next floor. I end up putting in more steps those days.
Rachel:
Absolutely.
Coach Allan:
And I get a lot more done because I'm, you know, I'm I'm taking my coffee break and my pee break at the same time. Mhmm. So but I get a lot more steps in was the thing. And, again, friction, just putting friction in there, which was Yeah. A learning thing that didn't just happen. That was a practice.
Rachel:
Yep. I love that. It just takes a minute to think of these different unique ways to avoid some of the things that, are weaknesses to us. I love it.
Coach Allan:
Yeah. Alright. Well, I'll talk to you next week. Great.
Rachel:
Take care, Allan.
Your Best Self Workshop – 40plusfitness.com/best.
Patreons
The following listeners have sponsored this show by pledging on our Patreon Page:
| – Anne Lynch | – Ken McQuade | – Leigh Tanner |
| – Eliza Lamb | – John Dachauer | – Tim Alexander |
Thank you!
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Introduction
Episode Notes
Patreons
The following listeners have sponsored this show by pledging on our Patreon Page:
| – Anne Lynch | – Ken McQuade | – Leigh Tanner |
| – Eliza Lamb | – John Dachauer | – Tim Alexander |
Thank you!
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On this first episode of 2023, we discuss what you need to do to meet your fitness goals.
Transcript
Let's Say Hello
[00:02:21.050] – Coach Allan
Hello, Ras. How are you today?
[00:02:23.040] – Coach Rachel
Good, Allan. How are you?
[00:02:24.910] – Coach Allan
I'm doing all right.
[00:02:26.320] – Coach Rachel
Good.
[00:02:28.510] – Coach Allan
We record this a few weeks ahead. So we're still getting started on the Christmas season stuff. It's the parades and the Santa stuff and all of that. But this is going to go live. This is the first episode of 2023.
[00:02:45.910] – Coach Rachel
Happy New Year.
[00:02:46.860] – Coach Allan
Happy New Year. Exactly. And with New Year, a lot of people go in with their resolutions. Yes, I've had a lot of conversations with people because people are right now, they're doing again, we're doing this in December, so bear with me. But I try to help reporters. They want to interview someone or they want some material from a personal trainer. And the question always comes up this time of year, how do we stick with our New Year's resolution? So I've been having that conversation a few times at various levels, and that's really what I wanted this episode today to really be about was, okay, you've decided you want to do something, but I'm going to start out and just tell you that's not good enough. It's just not. And there's a lot of reasons, and you can listen to this episode and see a lot of reasons why what you're doing might not be working for you long term or short term or whatever, but I want to put that out there.
[00:03:50.730] – Coach Allan
Tammy had to go back to the States because her mother had a health issue.
[00:03:54.460] – Coach Rachel
Oh, no.
[00:03:55.770] – Coach Allan
She went back to the States, and her mother's out of the hospital now.
[00:03:59.600] – Coach Rachel
Good.
[00:04:00.320] – Coach Allan
And so she's going to have to go through treatment and things like that, and it's a permanent treatment. So, again, as we get into this episode, and particularly in the discussion after, this is where it all comes from. You start looking forward, and you start seeing your future if you don't do something. So, yeah, so a lot going on.
[00:04:19.190] – Coach Allan
I'm here by myself at Lula's, but right now, fortunately, we're very, very slow. I think we have one guest oh, nice. For about the next three or four days, which is good, because I've got a lot to catch up on with everything else. But yeah, I'm basically running Lulas by myself, and through Christmas, I'll be doing that. Now, Christmas will be busy, and I'll have, I think, 14 or 15 breakfasts and all kinds of stuff. So I'm going to be moving. I'll be moving a lot over the course of the holidays to get this stuff done.
[00:04:49.740] – Coach Rachel
Good.
[00:04:51.530] – Coach Allan
It's good we're busy. It's a good month. But how are things up there?
[00:04:56.480] – Coach Rachel
Good. A lot colder than what you got down there, Allan.
[00:04:59.950] – Coach Allan
It's cold enough.
[00:05:01.030] – Coach Allan
It was down in the 70s today. And wearing a sweatshirt to kind of show you how wimpy I am.
[00:05:09.090] – Coach Rachel
We got 25 up here, so as long as it's on the plus side, I'm okay when it gets to be negative that it gets really cold.
[00:05:16.730] – Coach Allan
But Mike can't ice fish unless it gets
[00:05:19.320] – Coach Allan
That is true. So that is the bonus. We do have ice. It's forming now, and he's looking forward to fish camp coming up in the next month or two, I think. But, yeah, he's recovering well, and we're doing a lot of resting, which is nice because it's the holiday season up here as well. So we're just kind of taking it easy, enjoying this cooler weather as best we can.
[00:05:41.950] – Coach Allan
All right, well, are you ready to talk about fitness goals?
[00:05:45.540] – Coach Rachel
Sure.
Episode: How to get going and keep going on your fitness goals
I did a little survey on our Facebook group the other day about what was holding people back, what was keeping them from meeting their health and fitness goals, or what their basic struggle was. And I got one resounding answer. The biggest struggle that most of us face when trying to get and stay fit is motivation. But here's the thing. Motivation just doesn't happen. It's not something that's going to show up for you when you need it. Instead, we need to rely on commitment. So commitment will carry us. And I've had this conversation many, many times, but I'm going to repeat it right here so you can kind of get an idea of what's going on. So a commitment starts with a very basic thing. It starts with a why. Why do you want to be healthy and fit? What's driving you to do this? And then the second part of commitment is, what does that actually look like? Do you know what fitness is like or going to be like for you? Do you have some end vision of what this will be? So let me tell you a basic story of how all of this came together for me, because I wanted to be healthy and fit.
I missed being athletic. I missed doing the things that I was doing. And I was very miserable with the fact that I couldn't do those things. So I had some drivers behind me. I had I had some reasons to do it, but they really weren't the right kind of reasons. And then I come along to a moment in my life where my daughter, Rebecca, I call her Becca had gotten into CrossFit and these obstacle course races and all this kind of stuff, and she was basically a mini me at this point. She was living the life that I used to live, and I missed it desperately. And so one day she said to me, hey, Daddy, I'm going to be doing this CrossFit thing. I want you to come watch me do it. And to be honest with you, man, that was a kick in the teeth for my daughter to say, hey, come watch me do this. The realization was I did not want to be a spectator in my daughter's life. I wanted to be a participant. I wanted to be actively engaged in doing things with my daughter. And if the things she loved were things I couldn't do, then I couldn't be that person.
I would have to be the spectator. And that just really wasn't good enough for me. So for me, I can actually point to the moment, I can point to that conversation, and I can point to waking up the next morning in a hotel room a little hungover, like very hungover, and just realizing that this was the missing element. Commitment was the missing element. I had never really committed. Now, if you're struggling to get to your why, there is an exercise to help you dig deeper, to really get to something tangible and emotional and real. And it's called the five whys. Okay, so if I ask you why you want to get fit, and you tell me, well, I don't want to breathe so heavy when I'm going up the stairs. And I did the little five year or eight year old toddler thing, a kid thing, and I said Why? You say, well, when I walk up the stairs and I start breathing really heavy, it's embarrassing. Why? Well, because I am not fit. And I'm like, okay, well, why is breathing heavy the problem? Well, the why would be well, everybody's kind of looking at me while I'm trying to catch my breath.
I'm bent over and I realize that as I'm sitting there just really trying to catch my breath, it's kind of making a scene at work and I think people are looking down at me. Why?
Well, I should be able to walk.
Up a flight of stairs, perform my job, do my thing, and not be superwinded. And so when you take that y down, this becomes I want to be able to perform better at work. So your fitness why? Could be very much different from why you think it's your why. You may think your why is that you just want to be more fit, but the reality is it's affecting your confidence, it's affecting maybe your work performance, it's affecting how people are looking at you. And so you can kind of see that there's this deeper emotional thing that's going on as you start to put this together. So for me, not wanting to be a spectator in my daughter's life, wanting to be a participant, okay, that was not at the surface level. At the surface level, I was like, well, I used to be athletic, I'd like to be athletic again. Great. Why? Well, because when I was athletic, I had enjoyed myself, I had a lot of energy. Why do you want that? Well, because that made me feel younger, it made me feel stronger, it made me feel like I belong and I could stick with people.
Well, why is that important to you? Well, because my daughter is doing this stuff and I want to be able to do it with her and not be a spectator. So you kind of see how I can take those five whys? And I can just drill, I can just start drilling down until I get to the core essence of what this is. I was an athlete. I'm not anymore. I want to be able to keep up with my daughter and do things she's doing athletic things. I need to be able to do athletic things. So you see the difference in just saying I should be an athlete. I was an athlete to now taking it down to this deeper, deeper level where it's now rooted in who I am as a person and how I want to live my life. I'll make the joke that I want to be able to wipe my own ass when I'm 105. OK, and why? Because I don't want someone to have to do it for me. I don't want to be embarrassed about how I'm living my life, and I don't want to be in a situation where I'm dependent on other people, particularly my family to take care of me.
I see myself as the caretaker, and I want to be that person then as much as I want it now. So you can kind of see how as you keep digging, you're going to get down to this point, and then as you start looking at your vision, there's a direct link to what this is all about. So some things may have happened in your life that have got you really thinking about this this year. So one is maybe your doctor told you there are signs of osteopnia, you're losing bone mass, and you need to do something, and you don't want to be that frail old person. Okay? Or maybe you're struggling with just everyday tasks. So there's a jar of pickles sitting there on the counter you can't open. And now you have to wait till someone stronger than you comes home to open that jar of pickles for you. That's not a place you want to be. Or you find yourself as I said, you go up a flight of stairs and you can't catch your breath. Or you find yourself struggling with your balance. And this is keeping you from doing things you love, like playing tennis, or like with my grandfather playing golf, he had to quit golf because he didn't have his balance.
And sometimes it's just something fun.
You know, there's people here on the.
Island talking about getting together and doing pickleball, and I'm like, well, that'd be fun. And so they're going to get the stuff together. At some point, I'm going to want to go out there and play, and I'm not going to want to be silly embarrassed. So I'll probably start doing some training toward my vision of being a better pickleball player. Again, never played it, haven't played it. I played tennis some when I was younger, assuming it's fairly close to the same game. So some of those skills will probably rub off a little bit.
But I'm actually going to do some.
Things to make sure that I'm misfit as I need to be to be able to enjoy some pickleball. So you can kind of see how now is your tying your vision, tying how you want to live your life, the things you want to do for fitness, they all tie into this thing, this whole thing of why do you want to do this and what does it look like and what does it mean to you? And all those different things that come together as a commitment and a commitment of living healthy and fit life. Now, as you get into the actions of things that you're going to need to do to get more fit, you got to line up the things that will tell you you're doing it. And that's where the smart art goals again, smart art, where there's an extra A in smart goals. And I talked about this in detail on episode 564. So I'm not going to go into much detail here. I encourage you to go check that out. If you're looking for ways to do your building blocks to get you from point A to point Z, you can't just do that.
You got to work through each one. And so smart goals are specific. They're measurable, they're attainable, they're actionable, they're relevant, meaning they tie to your vision and they're timely. So literally you sit down and say, what's my vision? How do I have a specific goal that's between here and there. It's measurable, it's attainable, it's time bound and above all it's an action. It's not something that I can say I'm able to do, I did, I will do, I have done that kind of thing.
It's going to be actionable.
So go back to episode 564 maybe after you listen to this as you're looking to put your smart goals together. Okay, now let's break down the process. You're going to have these different struggles as you get into dealing with motivation. So the commitment is really important, but you're going to have to look at this whole thing of who you are. So there's this whole self awareness layer under motivation. So people will say I don't have motivation and I say you are not committed. Once you're committed, the motivation is a ton easier, but you're just not quite there yet. So let's start with self awareness and what you need to look at. Now some of the people in the Facebook group, which you can go to, 40 plusfitnesspodcast. comGROUP if you want to join the group, some of them said they had difficulty starting and other people said they had difficulty to keep going. So I want to talk about those two things because they're slightly different spends on the same thing. Okay? When you're having trouble getting started, you're having trouble with initiation. You're unable to initiate. Okay? And so what's happening here is you're standing still or sitting still and you have no inertia.
There's nothing to push you forward. So what you're looking for is some motivation, some thing to push you to get you moving, okay? To start. That's important. Okay? The other part of it is the continuing to go. And this is a big play on consistency. If you're not consistent, you probably won't see the benefits of the work that you're doing. The once and done doesn't happen in fitness. It's almost never can. You just do one thing one time and you've reached some fitness goal. It just doesn't work that way. So once you start doing something, you need to be consistent with it to see the results down the line. Now how do we get started and how do we keep going? We've got this whole mindset now where we're committed to do this very important. Do that first, but then there's the next part and this is where it all kind of starts to come together. So to get started and keep going, you have to be accountable. You have to have accountability. This is a key tool that a lot of people skip. They're like, I want to do it. I'll just do it.
And maybe you try it, and then you fall, or maybe you just don't even try, and you never even get into it. So have you ever needed to do something but based on where you were, it just wasn't you weren't able to do it? Okay. And I want to take you through a story to kind of give you an idea of what was going on for me with this. Okay? So I was in Orlando, and I was on a panel while we were discussing audit stuff, fraud stuff, okay? So I had all these people I'm sitting on stage, I'm sitting in the panel. And the night before, I had been out with friends that I know because we all kind of went to these things together. So I'd run into the same people. So I was out with some people on you, and I'd gotten pretty much chewed up by some mosquitoes all over my back. And so my back was itching like crazy. But here I am sitting on stage, so I really can't do anything about it. I'm itching like crazy. I'm on the panel. And even parts of it, I knew I couldn't even reach.
If I tried to reach back there and start scratching my back, I wasn't going to be able to do it. So I waited. I kind of gritted my teeth, and I got through it. Now, as soon as the thing was over and I was able to finish answering questions and get off the stage and move away, I went over and I found a vacant spot in the convention center area. And there was a doorway. And I was able to start scratching my back, rubbing my back against the door frame, similar to how a bear would rub it back against a tree. I've never seen a real bear do that, but they do it in cartoons, and they do it on TV all the time. But I was scratching my back against a tree, against that door frame, and someone walks around the corner, and it's kind of embarrassing. But the base point of what I'm trying to get to is when people are watching you, you act differently. You stop doing things that you know you will be embarrassed for people to know you did. And you put off doing things. You hold back, you grit your teeth and get things done that you didn't necessarily feel you could do or you didn't want to do.
But you wouldn't do this in front of someone. That's accountability. That's how this works. It's in your head. Someone's watching, someone cares. I'm going to do this. Now. When someone's watching us, obviously we're doing something a little different, right? So this is accountability. And in your health and fitness journey, this is important and this is how you can think about it from a perspective of getting things done. So I'm going to ask you to remember a time, and this is the way back machine. So this is well before cell phones, okay? And you remember you were going to go for a trip. So you're driving, and your mother would say, you probably remember this, call me when you get there. Now, what did that do? It did a few things. One is it made you accountable to drive safely because you now knew that your mother was aware of when you were due to arrive at a certain place. And she cares, so she's paying attention. So you're probably going to drive a little safer, and you're going to go directly where you're supposed to go. Because if you're supposed to get there at 05:00 and you don't call your mother at 05:00, you know she's going to be worried about you.
So you get there. Now, we didn't have cell phones, so there was no real way, unless you stopped somewhere for a payphone to say, hey, I'm running a little late. But for the most part, you were driving until you got there. And you get there and you call your mom, hey, mom got here. Everything's cool. Good. You are accountable to your mother. You had respect for your mother. You knew she was looking. You knew what she was looking for, and you delivered. Now another one. And what I call there is I call that authority accountability. So you have a coach leader type of accountability where you're responsible. You feel responsible to somebody. They're looking out over you. They care about you. They're a leader. They're basically a leader or a coach, and they're there to look after you. Okay? Now, the other kind of accountability that's out there is a little different, but just as important and just as valuable, and we call that social accountability. So here's the story. Let's say, okay, you tell your friends, your friends all agree, hey, we're going to go watch the movie at 630. Now, back before cell phones, they want to watch the 07:00 show.
We're all going to meet at the movie theater in the game room at 630. Guess where you were pretty much before or after? Right around 630, you're at the game room. Why? Because you were socially responsible to these individuals. You wanted their social approval. You knew they were looking for you. They knew you knew that you were supposed to be there. They were going to be there. Okay, so this is now social accountability. So we have the two types of accountability. We have the leader coach accountability, which is sort of from a perspective of respect and authority. And then we have the social accountability, which is really about, I care what they think about me, and I want to be responsible to them, and I want to be liked and loved and respected as well. So those two tools are really, really valuable and you want to look at accountability from those two lenses. Okay. So you kind of get the idea that if you have both the leader, the leader coach accountability available to you and you have the social accountability to you, there's two different ways that you can approach this problem. So let's talk a little bit about the getting started.
Now what's a good level of authority or good level of accounting accountability? I kind of gave you the answer there, but what's the type of accountability that's best for getting started? That is the leader coach type because the leader coach type is going to be there to kind of push you. Like I said, you have inertia holding you back. So you're sitting still and you need something to push you. Now most of our social relationships, they're not in the pushing mode. They're not necessarily going to make you do things you don't want to do because again, they're looking at you socially as well. So they're not the best people to kind of push you to start. But a leader coach form of accountability is much better at that initial push, that initial go. And there's a lot of reasons behind that. You have the right coach, the right leader and the other side of it is typically you're also paying these people and if you're making the payment and you're committing to it and you're there, you're going to show up and the coach is going to get you going, the leader is going to get you moving.
And so as we start going, that breaks that inertia and now you're moving. So if getting started is your problem, I would consider looking for a coach or leader that's going to push you just to get you started. Okay. Now the other type of accountability, social accountability is really good on the keep going part. So the more people you surround yourself that are like what you want to be or are like minded enough and moving in the same direction you are because they want the same things for themselves, you're creating a social accountability network that's moving you in the right direction. Our Facebook group, again you go to 40 Plusfitnesspodcastgroup is a great way to put people in your life that are like minded and moving in the same direction you are. So there's lots of opportunity there for you to build that social network. Okay? Now there are two other ways to look at accountability that I want to talk about. So there is the extrinsic motivation that is going to come to us from other people. So remember we talked about the coach, right? The coach, the coach is going to ask you to do things and you're going to want to do it because you know the coach is looking and you know the coach cares.
So now you're doing things that's coming from an extrinsic perspective. So initially the getting started part that's really valuable, right? It gets you started. It initiates movement. It gets you moving. That's really good. Particularly if that's where you struggle most. Now if your struggle is on the going forward, then extrinsic motivation can work. But it gets a little tedious because again the coach is asking, you're saying yes, you're moving. Coach is asking you're saying yes, you're moving. So you kind of see where it just builds this kind of little loop and it's great. But if you're looking for the consistency to keep happening, you got to start moving towards a different style of motivation. It can't stay extrinsic. You have to move it toward the intrinsic or internal. So as you're looking at accountability, remember there's coach leader accountability which is some individual that you respect and respond to. And there's social accountability which are the people around you that you know care and you want to be a part of that social group. You're doing those two things. That's the accountability piece. Now the motivation piece is extrinsic. So all of that accountability is an extrinsic motivator.
They're pushing you to go and keep going. But where you're really going to get value out of this whole process. And this is a big, big thing. It's a hard thing but when it starts to happen you're going to feel it. You're going to feel the momentum of this stuff shift everything you're trying to do with your health and fitness goals. There's just going to be this fundamental shift in the way you approach things and that's when you can internalize the motivation. That's when it becomes intrinsic. Now as you do that now you're driven. And so what's happening is at first you didn't really want to work out. You said, I don't like to work out. I don't like to sweat. I don't like to use my muscles and lift weights. I don't like to do these things. Your coach is kind of moving. You your leader. Coach accountability is kind of pushing you to start. You start lifting, you start doing some things. You're like, I still don't like this, but I'm doing it. And then you have the social group that's like, hey, have you lost a little bit of weight? Hey, you're going to the gym?
That's awesome. Can I go to the gym with you? Can I be around when you're doing this stuff? Can I be a part of your life? You're bringing in and building this accountability network that's both coach leader and social and you've got that in your life now. You're still dealing and using extrinsic motivation to try to drive all of this behavior once you start to bring it inside. So you're doing and now you're getting and once you start getting, you're like, hey, I can lift more than I was able to lift last week or last month. I'm getting stronger. I'm succeeding in this thing that I wanted to do and I'm succeeding. Better than I even thought maybe I could. Okay? Once those things start falling in place you're like, well, I actually want to get stronger, I actually want to lift weights. How weird is that? That is intrinsic motivation when it's sort of this thing where you're like, well no, it's like your friend calls you and say, hey, let's go meet up and do this thing. And like, okay, let me get my workout in and then I'll meet you there. When your brain starts doing that and there's intrinsic motivation for you to still get it done, boom.
That's magic, right? So just to kind of wrap this all up and I want to put one more piece of information out there before we close up. But you've got to start with the commitment. Why do you want this and where are you going? Second, what are you going to do to get moving forward and to keep moving forward? And that starts with accountability. Accountability is the extrinsic motivation that you need to make this start happening. And then we got to push it and push it until we get to success, some form of success. Something that's going to say, okay, I get it, my body is responding, this actually feels good. And now I have this intrinsic motivation to do it and keep doing it. Okay, so now we're moving. Now the only other piece I want to throw in here before we close this out is that there's a thing called pace. And I get into pace really deep on episode 504 and so I'd encourage you to go there if you want to learn more about pace. But the reality of it is based on where we are and that's going to be in the self awareness piece, that's going to be in the commitment piece.
They're going to be limits and they're going to be capability. There's going to be things in your life that are going to tell you you're moving too fast, you're moving too slow. And I want you to listen to the voices that are driving you, but I don't want them to drive you to a point of injury and worse. Because again, if you stop because you're injured, you've got to start all over. OK? And that can be really, really hard, especially if you haven't really built the intrinsic motivation. And now that you have to take this break to recover, you might struggle with the fact that you do have to recover. So understand that pace is about what you can do with what you have. If you can sprint, it's time to sprint, it's time to get enough Ferrari and haul it, then do it. But if you've got a lot going on in your life or you're trying to work around an injury or an illness, then you're in a much slower vehicle and you have to accept that as what you can do with what you have. Okay? So pace is a hard one and I don't want that to ever derail you but just recognize that it's out there.
You can't go too fast but you also don't need to go too slow. So you got to find the right pace for you and that's where a coach can again really come in handy is they can get you started and they can get you started in the right way. Where you're working at the right pace you're avoiding injury and as a result you're getting that value out of the work which helps you move from an extrinsic model, an external model of motivation to an intrinsic model of motivation. Now I know I threw a lot at you and this is not easy stuff. It isn't. But you start with the commitment it gets a lot easier and then you hire the coaches. You do what you got to do to put the right people around you to get that accountability layer in there. And then you start understanding that motivation doesn't come first. It comes last. Once you get moving the motivation builds. Motivation starts externally and it comes internally. It moves in. So as you do better the motivation is going to come in and you're going to have it in you. It's just going to be a part of who you are.
So again commitment, accountability, extrinsic motivation, intrinsic motivation and you're off to the races. So I hope this was valuable to you. If you're struggling with this whole process of the commitment and the accountability and getting motivation to move inward to make all this stuff kind of happen I'd.
Really like to talk to you about it.
This is what I do all day every day. I help people build that thing to build their process, to build their lifestyle sustainable because it starts with commitment. It starts with that foundation and it moves inside and we help make sure you're moving at the right pace that you're getting what you need at the right time. And as a result you build something that works for you that will always work for you. And you'll know that model you'll have that tool chest. If you'll go to 40 Plusfitness.com Discovery we can get you on a call and we can talk about these elements and know. Now I know I'm not for everybody and I know I'm not the best coach for everybody so I'm not going to tell you yeah I'm going to be your coach because you called this, we got on this call. But what I will promise you is if we get on the call you will leave that call with a plan. Okay? That's the one thing I can promise you. I may not be the right coach for you but I want to make sure that that time spent is valuable because you'll discover what's important for you to be successful to take that next step.
So if you'll go to 40plusfitness.com/discovery we can go ahead and book a call and you can get this done and make 2023 your year.
Post Show/Recap
[00:34:02.330] – Coach Allan
Welcome back, Ras.
[00:34:03.870] – Coach Rachel
Hey, Allan. You know, I did see that post that you put on your 40+ fitness Facebook page and I was pretty surprised, but not surprised by the responses you were getting that people were lacking motivation. And coincidentally, I'm seeing the same frustration with a lot of our friends. Being that we are up to our knees and snow right now. Not many of us want to be outside for a lovely walk in the park. It's kind of brutal. So, yeah, motivation is just waning over the holidays. It's really hard to rely on that when you've got fitness in mind or health in mind.
[00:34:40.140] – Coach Allan
Yeah. Well, like I said in the discussion of this, you've got to find something with deep meaning.
[00:34:49.370] – Coach Allan
If you don't feel it, literally, you don't feel it. And it's probably not going to happen the way you want it to or it won't stick. So I've never seen anyone who is just passionate about weight loss. Like, no, like, yeah, I need to lose 15 lbs or 10 lbs or whatever.
[00:35:07.170] – Coach Allan
It's like, oh, man, that's such a brave goal. It's such a tremendous thing for you to be thinking about or caring about. And I don't mean that to belittle it, but just realize how little emotional attachment you have to losing 15 or 10 lbs.
[00:35:25.510] – Coach Allan
There's none.
[00:35:28.070] – Coach Rachel
Right?
[00:35:28.070] – Coach Allan
There's none.
[00:35:29.010] – Coach Allan
And so you're not going to have a drive behind you. You've got to find the things that are going to push you and then pull you. And so, you know, your why is going to pull you.
[00:35:42.590] – Coach Allan
Your accountability is going to push you.
[00:35:45.710] – Coach Rachel
Which is why I like how you started with the five whys and how to be, like you said, a toddler, and keep asking the question, Why? To dig deeper. And I do the same with my athletes, too. Why do you want to run a marathon? Why do you want to do these things and have these goals? You really need to dig deep into that because there's more underneath the surface.
[00:36:09.030] – Coach Allan
Yeah! Because mile 18 is going to suck on the first marathon and you have to ave a reason to pick up that foot again.
[00:36:15.340] – Coach Rachel
Right? It's important to have a why, and that's a great driving for us. And I think that's a good place to start is to really drill deep into your whys and then after that commitment. That's another one of my favorite words. You need to commit to those whys and then having the accountability. I think that accountability is probably one of the biggest factors for why I do what I do while I run so much is because I have the accountability of my run club and my run friends, and we each push each other to our goals and make sure we're doing things to stay able and ready for the next race.
[00:36:56.370] – Coach Allan
Yeah. So that's a social accountability. So you surround yourself with the people. But for most of us, it's going to probably be easier to start with the leader/coach type of accountability. Because what's going to happen there is that individual is going to get you focused and get you moving. And then if you start surrounding yourself with people like you that are runners, then it's easy enough at that point for you to say, okay, we're going to put together a streak during the holidays and then we all want to do this. We got to do at least as many miles or mile or whatever you're going to put the distance to qualify it. Everybody is seeing everybody else do their thing that's driving them to lace up those shoes.
[00:37:44.780] – Coach Rachel
Yes.
[00:37:45.830] – Coach Allan
Even if internally they're having that conflict of I really don't want to go out there. It's freaking 25 degrees, Rachel. What are you doing?
[00:37:58.570] – Coach Rachel
But having a coach, that's the other part that I think is so important is sometimes I know for me, I get stuck with too many options. I got too much going on. I don't know where to get started. I don't know how to get started. And just like you said, a lot of people have difficulty starting. So I like to have somebody tell me what to do. Tell me today I need to do X, Y and Z, tomorrow be A, B and C. To have that coach get you started, kind of kick you out the door. You don't have to think about it. You just do what the coach tells you to do and you're off and running. And there's a lot of benefits to having a coach.
[00:38:36.010] – Coach Allan
Yeah. When I was looking at doing some strength training for the Spartan, I hired a coach, a strength coach, and the basic purpose was, one, I was working a lot of hours and I just really didn't want to think about my workout. And I had the coach there as that he was going to be there. He hated when he actually when he blurted out 05:00 in the morning because he had another athlete that wanted to work out at 6:30 when he was training me. And he's like, she can only train at 6:30 and she was the same days as you. Do you mind moving years earlier? And I'm like, okay, what time? And he said, 05:00. I said you're on. And then he realized what he had just done was he was going to have to meet me at the gym at 05:00 every morning. And I was in there. In fact, I get there before and I literally have the weights already loaded. So when he walked in the door, I was ready to do my first set. There was some intrinsic motivation there for myself, but I had that accountability. And so for me, it was easy enough.
[00:39:42.620] – Coach Allan
I knew it was going to be there. I get there, I didn't have to think about the workout, I didn't have to think about any of it. After a couple of weeks working with him, I already knew kind of where he was going to go anyway, so I knew the weight that he was probably going to put. So I already had that loaded before he arrived.
[00:40:00.980] – Coach Rachel
Awesome.
[00:40:01.500] – Coach Allan
And I would do squats and I do leg press. And at the time it was kind of insane how much I was leg pressing, relative. And so it would take us 15 minutes to load the sled and 15 minutes to unload the sled. So like I said, I would start loading the sleds, I set up my squat and I'd start loading plates to the sled for the leg press. And then he would get there and after I finished the squat, then we would put the rest of the plates on. Or while I was doing squats, sometimes we'd be putting the plates on so that I could go right into doing leg press and then we would start taking the weights off. After the leg press, I would already be doing another exercise.
[00:40:41.120] – Coach Allan
So he kept me efficient, it kept me moving. If I was doing that by myself, it would be like, easy enough to sit there and say, well, I'm going to go a little light today so I don't have to load as many plates or I'm just going to skip the leg press because I don't want to spend the 15 minutes to load and then 15 minutes to unload this all by myself.
[00:41:00.290] – Coach Allan
So that was kind of one of the things. And so if you want to succeed at this stuff, you've really got to do all of it. Is there's not one perfect thing saying, oh, well, I have a coach, therefore I'm going to get there. If you don't have the why, it's probably not going to happen.
[00:41:16.280] – Coach Allan
And you have to start building the social accountability as a function of this whole thing because without that you're probably not going to hire the coach and keep that coach on for the rest of your life. So building the social network that's going to keep you going is also very important.
[00:41:35.550] – Coach Allan
And then the final bit is to take that motivation that you're getting from these external sources, the extrinsic motivation, and find a way to get it in you. And so it becomes more intrinsic motivation.
[00:41:50.430] – Coach Allan
Because you don't have to hype yourself up to run a marathon no anymore. It's like for you, it's like, yeah, I got these connections, I've got this accountability and you hired a run coach for one of the races.
[00:42:04.860] – Coach Allan
But the base point would be is you didn't need that to do the work. You were going to do the work and you were going to run the marathon. Those were given without any of that accountability because you've turned your motivation internally and you now are just, you're a runner, that's who you are. And you run because you're a runner.
[00:42:25.630] – Coach Rachel
It's my lifestyle at this point. And when you find what you love to do in the gym or outside of the gym, on the trails, wherever it is that you do your habit, you get to doing it so often that it just becomes what you do. It's how you plan things. It's how you manage your weekly schedule, and it just becomes part of your life.
[00:42:45.980] – Coach Rachel
And then in turn, it's the intrinsic motivation to keep at it. And, yeah, that's where I've been running for almost 25 years now, so it's pretty much not even a thought at this point anymore. It's just do. I brush my teeth and I run. It's what I do.
[00:43:03.850] – Coach Allan
A lot of times, I'll get this. Like, I'm not like you, Rachel. I'm not like you. I don't have that in me. I hate running. I hate sweating. I hate and I'll tell you, you really haven't gotten to the why, and you really haven't made a commitment, and you've got to go back to that.
[00:43:21.120] – Coach Allan
Yes.
[00:43:21.710] – Coach Allan
You got to go back to that, because here's the core, and I can tell you a dozen stories of me watching people who are older than me get sick, really sick, and really bad gruesome stuff, and they're gross stories. They're horrible stories. And what I saw in that was a potential future. It was a potential future where I'm not taking care of myself.
[00:43:49.690] – Coach Rachel
Right.
[00:43:50.540] – Coach Allan
And so I want independence well into old, old age. I literally want people to say, I don't think this guy's going to die. He's just got too much energy.
[00:44:01.950] – Coach Rachel
You're perpetual.
[00:44:03.450] – Coach Allan
Yeah, I don't understand. He's going to live forever. But I want people to know that I'm capable and able, and I'm going to take care of myself. I'm going to take care of the people around me. I'm not going to do the silly stuff that is going to basically make my last years terrible. So I have family members that I dealt with, tobacco issues, with cancers. Horrible, horrible way to go out and then don't think it's going to happen. It's just when. You live long enough and don't die of something else. You have basically planted the seeds if you smoked or if you still smoke.
[00:44:43.190] – Coach Allan
And even if it wasn't that, my mother and my mother-in-law both now have COPD, and it's like, okay, and they both had quit smoking at some point in their lives, but the damage was done. And now in their 70s, they're experiencing issues, and it's terrible, but it's kind of one of those things of saying, well, we knew all the way back in the 70s that this stuff was not in your best interest, and you didn't quit then. You waited until we were into the 1990s or 2000s, that's another 25, 30 years that you knew what you were doing was not in your best interest. You just kept doing it.
[00:45:24.390] – Coach Allan
And so that's where the why comes in. That's where that looking ahead and saying, why do I want to do this today? I want to do this today so I can wipe my own butt when I'm 105. I've got stories about that, too.
[00:45:37.260] – Coach Allan
And so as you just look at anyone who's older than you and they're struggling with things, they can't open pickle jar. They can't get up from the seat without pushing with their arms and leaning forward. And now they got to get rails in their bathroom so they can get in and out of the bathtub. And they're falling more often and maybe even hospitalized more often. You start seeing that. You're like, okay, well, is that your path?
[00:46:05.350] – Coach Rachel
Right?
[00:46:06.180] – Coach Allan
And you make a choice. You make a choice every single day. How you're going to live that day, that's all you get.
[00:46:11.510] – Coach Rachel
That's right.
[00:46:12.870] – Coach Allan
If you're making the right decisions, then you have a better opportunity to have a better future. And so for me, my intrinsic motivation does not come from, I've got a race coming up or this, that. Those help for short-term stuff. Like, if I want to get really strong or want to basically build up my stamina, then, yeah, schedule a race. I'm wired for that. If I've got something in front of me that's scary, I'll work to make sure that I'm in the best condition I can possibly be.
[00:46:40.020] – Coach Allan
But my day-to-day, how I look at my nutrition and my sleep and my stress management, then I'm looking at it from the, how long am I going to live, and how do I want to live that? What does that look like? And, you know, so I left corporate America. You know, I had a great job with making a lot of money, and I got laid off, and I very easily could have made a few phone calls and probably within a few months had another job just like that.
[00:47:07.370] – Coach Allan
But I was looking at my stress levels and saying, this isn't getting me where I want to be in 30 or 40, 50 years.
[00:47:17.820] – Coach Rachel
Right.
[00:47:18.750] – Coach Allan
And I know a lot of people don't think that far ahead, but you need to
[00:47:23.600] – Coach Allan
Yes. Just think five years ahead or ten years ahead. Where are you going to be? How old will you be, and what will your health be like? And as I've mentioned to you in the past, this cancer journey that my husband Mike's been on was kind of one of those out of the blue scenarios. We don't know anyone with kidney cancer. We don't know how he got it or how it started. But I can tell you for sure that he weathered the chemotherapy and the surgery as well as he did because he is as healthy as he is. And you can say that 50, I hope you're saying 50 is still pretty young.
[00:48:03.210] – Coach Allan
If you're listening to this podcast you're either pretty darn close to 50, or you're over it. And yeah, 50 does not need to be old. And it's so funny because my family acted old in their 50s. You know, it's just kind of a weird thing in the it's like 50s and 60s we're old people. And I'm like, okay, I'm I'm here. I'm kind of like, no. I mean, yeah, I dress up like Santa and climbing and out of a golf cart trunk, and they're throwing babies and dogs at me to take pictures. I want to still be able to do fun stuff like that. There was a girl, she's got problems with her knees. She's around our age, couldn't even walk. It was a two mile parade, and it wasn't going fast at almost any point in time. It took us 3 hours to go 2 miles, so it wasn't moving fast at all. She couldn't walk it, her knees. And she couldn't even ride her bike to do it because her knees were bothering her so bad. And so it's just kind of one of those things where, granted, sometimes this is outside your control.
[00:49:06.220] – Coach Allan
But if things are in your control, what you put in your mouth, what you decide if you're going to be a smoker or not a smoker. You decide the drugs you're going to take, you decide how you're going to move. You can decide how you're going to sleep. You decide how you're going to deal with stress. Those are decisions.
[00:49:23.340] – Coach Allan
And you can say, I don't have decisions. I don't have a choice. You do. You just don't want the choice.
[00:49:32.610] – Coach Rachel
Make the hard choice. Yeah, sometimes it is a hard one, and sometimes it's not fun waking up at the crack of dawn to go to the gym like you did at 05:00 a.m. Or when we go running at 07:00 a.m. Or something, but at 25 degree weather. But you feel good once you've done it and you're healthier for it, and that will help you get to that next five year goal or ten year goal, and you'll be better off in the long term. So if you can stick with it being uncomfortable, it's worth it.
[00:50:03.090] – Coach Allan
Well, and that's what this whole episode was about. If you listen to it and you're still listening, you care about your fitness, you want to meet your health and fitness goals. And I did the best I could in about I think it was about a 30 minutes spew. When I got done with, I was kind of like I feel like I just threw up a whole bunch of information
[00:50:24.710] – Coach Allan
But it was all good information and very useful. Start with the whys, be a self-aware, get some accountability, and go back and relisten if you need help or contact you or me if you want more help.
[00:50:38.380] – Coach Allan
Absolutely.
[00:50:39.470] – Coach Rachel
Yeah.
[00:50:40.000] – Coach Allan
All right, Ras, I will talk to you next week.
[00:50:42.690] – Coach Rachel
Great, Allan. Take care.
[00:50:44.060] – Coach Allan
You too. Bye.
[00:50:45.650] – Coach Rachel
Bye-bye.
Patreons
The following listeners have sponsored this show by pledging on our Patreon Page:
| – Anne Lynch | – Ken McQuade | – Margaret Bakalian |
| – Debbie Ralston | – John Dachauer | – Melissa Ball |
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| – Eric More | – Leigh Tanner |
Thank you!
Another episode you may enjoy
Less...
11 Tips for sticking with a workout regimen
Donna from Facebook asked about tips for sticking to a workout regimen. Here are 11 great tips to follow:
- Reconnect to your why – This helps you get started and stick with it.
- Do it first – You are much more likely to do your workout when you do it first rather than putting it off until later in the day.
- Set an appointment – Treat your workout like an important appointment that you would not miss.
- Have an objective – Perhaps it’s a race, competition, or wearing a certain dress that you’re working toward. It’s a good way to recognize progress and maintain motivation.
- Set micro goals – Set smaller goals along the way to your main goal to give you wins and encourage you to push harder.
- Make it something you trip over – Make it a constant reminder so you have all you need to do your workout.
- Convenience – Make it easy for yourself and you’ll be much more likely to comply with your program.
- Hire a good trainer – You’ll have accountability and you may even have a better workout.
- Have an accountability partner – Find someone who will keep you accountable so you stick with your workouts.
- Have some planned periodization – Doing the same workout over and over can lead to plateaus. Rotate to different modalities to keep things fresh.
- Make it fun – If your workout isn’t fun or you’re not excited about what you’re working toward, consider another style of workout.
Follow these simple tips to stay on track with your workout regimen!
Here is another episode you may enjoy
5 Ways to build and maintain motivation
Motivation is a key factor in sticking with your health and fitness program. Here are five ways to help you stay motivated:
- Gamification – This keeps you motivated because there’s a score involved. It’s a process of having a score that’s going to drive you forward. Find ways to measure your performance against yourself to gamify the process. Be sure to keep it within your limits and don’t lose focus on what you’re trying to accomplish.
- Social pressure – While negative social pressure can be bad, good social pressure can help to encourage you. Consider joining Facebook groups for support or find an accountability partner.
- Sunk cost – If you’ve made an investment, or sunk cost, you are more likely to follow through because you want to get your money’s worth. Making a financial investment will often lead to greater results because the participants have an added reason to stay motivated.
- Fear – We know that fear is a strong motivator. There are actually ways to set up fear scenarios, such as committing to giving money to a cause you dislike when you don’t follow through. The potential outcome in this fear scenario should matter to you and it should be emotional to provide the greatest impact.
- Commitment – When you make a commitment, your motivation becomes a little bit easier. A compelling vision and why will help you stick with your plan because you want to reach your ultimate goal.
Incorporate these five suggestions and watch your motivation level soar!
Another episode you may enjoy
March 25, 2016
- in guest/interview , health by linda
Motivate Me | Lynette Renda
In this episode, we talk with Lynette Renda, the successful host of the Motivate Me! podcast. As a form of coaching, Lynette interviews people who have incorporated a passion into their lives, and she encourages her audience to do the same.
Together with Lynette we discuss the art of motivation. Motivation is one thing on the health and fitness journey that often plateaus. And when that plateau lasts for a while, it can be demotivating. So how does Lynette apply motivation to her health and fitness journey? We talk with Lynette about her number one tool to remain motivated.
A sense of community can be an important part of your health and fitness journey. For Lynette, it has been her number one motivating factor. In fact, by reaching out you reap the benefits of several motivating factors, such as:
- The bond of shared experiences
- Friendship
- Encouragement
- Accountability
- Shared energy
- Confidence
Continually learning from a community of resources and experts, such as professionals in their field, listening to podcasts and joining social media groups is empowering. Surrounding yourself and reaching out to others who share the interest will help you persevere in your endeavors.
Lynette Renda’s show, Motivate Me!, is interactive with the goal of having listeners learn from the experiences of others while focusing on helping people create a life that excites and fulfills them. You can learn more about Lynette Renda through her website (motiatemepodcast.com).
Music: Ben Sound Royalty Free Music