May 28, 2024

Three reasons we fail to reach our health and fitness goals (part 3)

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Episode Notes

On episode 644 of the 40+ Fitness Podcast, we round out the final reason we fail at our health and fitness goals.

Hello, and welcome to episode 644. We've been talking about the three reasons we fail at reaching our health and fitness goals and what you can do about it. Since I've been traveling, I've been breaking these up into 3 different episodes. Today, we're gonna get into the 3rd episode with third reason why we fail at reaching our health and fitness goals. You can go back to episode 642 to listen to the first one, and 643 to listen to the second one. All of these work together in a series to give you the three reasons.

One of the core reasons we fail at reaching our health and fitness goals is that we just don't want it bad enough. And I I know that's hard to hear. It's like, of course, I want it. Yeah. I know. Of course, you want it. And that may sound a little harsh for me to say it. But if you really think about it, it's true.

So I could ask you the question, and and I know the answer I'm gonna get, but just say…

What would you not do for your family? What would you not do for your family?

And I'm pretty sure that right now you're thinking, Oh, I'll I'll do anything for my family. I'd do anything for my family.

And then that leads me to ask, well, would you do what you need to do to get healthy and fit? And now you make sense, doesn't it? If you want to be there for your family, if you want to help your family, you're going to do what's necessary for your family.

You can do everything you can for your family. And that includes and must include taking care of yourself. So it's harsh, but that's one of the core reasons we don't. We want other things more than we want our health and fitness. It's it's just a solid fact. Okay.

And and there's reasons why we don't do that, and I'll get into it. So the first one is, when I the way I just said that, you know, we don't typically tie our health and fitness to what it means to our family. Or we have, but we don't remind ourselves about it often enough. I think when I said that, would you do anything for your family? Your short answer was yes. But if you sat there and realized that your health and fitness directly impacts your family, and will significantly impact your family as you get older, doesn't that change the math? So I want you to think in terms of this.

What what could we miss if we were to cut our life short 5, 10, 15 years? How much is going on in our lives with grandkids and everything else in the world? How many how much more joy and love would we have in our lives if we lived an additional high quality 15 years?

Now what would we miss if we weren't able to take care of ourselves for 5, 10, 15 years? What kind of burden does that put on our family? I mean, everybody I've ever talked to that said they had to put had to put their parents into a home, it was it was one of the most devastating things they had to experience. That point where they felt they couldn't take care of their own parents, and their parents couldn't take care of themselves.

I'll take it further, and I'll say, how different could our relationships be if we were able to participate in our families' lives and not just be a spectator? And by that, I mean crawling on the ground with your grandkids, running through and taking care of them at the zoo, keeping up with a family member that that needs to be taken care of, and being able to lift them, help them, carry them, get them moving, do the things for them that need to be done.

And, yes, keep up with yourself. All the things you enjoy doing. Okay? Now, I don't know about you, but I do want to live a long, healthy, productive life. And I want to help the people around me, including my family.

So it's critical that you tie your own health and fitness to what it means to your family so you will care more. Okay? Now the second one is we're drawn to easy. Humans are drawn to easy. So we're wired to find the simplest way to get something done. We our body does not want to burn a whole lot of extra energy. So if we can do something easy, we're always gonna take the easy route. And that doesn't mean you're lazy. It's just how we're wired.

It keeps us alive. It keeps makes things easier. Making them easier means we're we're using less energy. But that takes a big toll on our health and fitness. Because all the things that have gone on to make life easier for us means that we're we're doing less walking. There's less manual labor. We have more access to calories and food than ever in the history of man, and you probably have more food right now in your refrigerator than someone would typically have available to them for months before. And it's all kept. It's refrigerated. It's preserved and it's fine. And then, you know, we accept things as they are rather than looking for ways to improve.

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The third thing that gets in the way of us caring enough is that we seek patterns. Human beings seek patterns. If we find something that works, and gives us what we want, then then we keep doing it. So we eat the doughnut. It gives us a surge of dopamine.

It tells us that we're there. Perfect. I'll do that. Getting out in the hot sun and and working out or doing some yard work or doing something, we have to hire somebody to do that. Right?

I don't want to sweat. And so as a result of seeking patterns, we found that it's very easy to develop bad habits. But it's really harder to develop the good habits because the good habits don't have the payday. Eating a salad for lunch is not gonna give you the dopamine hit of of eating 3 bagels for breakfast. It's not going to give you the same dopamine hit as having a couple of, donuts, and so it's sometimes easier for us to develop the bad habits than it is for us to develop the good habits. And again, it's all about patterns, but our body has a reward system. And if we get the pattern right, our reward system peaks, and and that's when we get the most out of it. Now the 4th reason that we really don't care enough is that humans seek acceptance. Okay? Now we do want to look good and be accepted by those around us, but we also want to be accepted in general. So we may adopt some unhealthy behaviors because that's what's normal.

Nearly half of the people in the United States are obese. So what that means is it is practically normal to be obese. Okay. Alcohol use is completely normalized. In fact, if you were to go out with your friends to dinner and not drink, they would probably ask you about it. And so seeking that acceptance, we don't wanna stand out. We don't want to look weird. We don't want to be called out on stuff. And so we kind of gravitate a little bit more toward doing these things even though we not they're not the best thing for us. And the other thing is we we feel that asking for help is a signal that we're weak.

Now I want to share something with you as a special hint. It's the exact opposite.

Only strong people ask for help.

The number five reason that we, really just don't care enough, to do this stuff is that we, humans often create false narrative of themselves. Okay? And so we can, make excuses why we can't do something. And those excuses become our narrative. So a couple of examples I can think about that is someone will say, well, I I wanna I wanna do something, but I I can't run anymore because of my knees.

Or I get this a lot. I can't afford healthy food. You know, mac and cheese is cheaper than a steak. Of course, it is. It's got a lot steak has a lot more nutrition in it. So it's not just about the calories. And then I get this one. I'm not young anymore, so I can't x. Okay. So anything I want a client to do, and in many cases, they could talk themselves out of it if they have a narrative that they're injured, or they can't do this, or they can't afford that. They're going to find an excuse.

Again, we're really, really good about having this false narrative that creates excuses. Now the problem is the narrative might not be completely false. Okay? And that's why the narratives are so strong because there are bits of truth in there, usually.

So we may have to make a conscious effort to find a solution around it. Meaning, I might actually have an issue with my knees, and maybe running isn't the best thing for me to do. But is there something I can do? Like maybe the elliptical, or maybe I can ride a bike, and that doesn't hurt my knees. So if there is some truth to it, there is an injury.

And obviously, you know, buying all of your food is as fresh and wonderful as it could be, you know, grass fed, grass finished, all that stuff. That can get pretty expensive, so you've got to try to find solutions. Okay? Now we're drawn to easy, as I mentioned in number 2 above, but we need to get it done.

There's a point where you just have to say, okay, I've got to do something. I've got to find a solution. I've got to work my way through this. So, you know, the core of it here, and I'll just summarize a little bit, is that if you want your life to be what it's supposed to be, you have to want to change.

You have to really want this. You have to have a deep, deep, deep why. As, I recently had Funk, Roberts on, you know, I'm gonna have Funk Roberts on, I think, next week. One of the things he says is your why should make you cry. I mean, it's that deep. It this should be something that you just say, there's there's no other answer. This is do or die. And so if you can get to where you care more about your health and fitness than you do about the other stuff.

The false narratives. The easy. The not sweating. The all the stuff. You can get past that, then you're gonna get there. So you have to address this stuff head on. You have to get to your emotional why, and then when you want to reach your health and fitness goals more than you want to stay where you are, you're going to make it happen.

So now I'm going to put a post in our Facebook group. Go to the group at 40plusfitnesspodcast.com/group, and I'm gonna have the links to all 3 of the episodes. So if you haven't listened to one of them, you can go back and listen to that one. But, beyond that, I wanna hear your comments on this. So did I hit a nerve somewhere in there? Is there some things in here that you saw and says, jeez, maybe that's why I keep failing at this stuff. Maybe that's why this is so hard for me. I want us to have a deeper conversation there, and let's figure out what's holding you back, because we we have to change something to change something. And if you want this bad enough, like we've talked about here today, then let's go make it happen. Go to 40plusfitnesspodcast.comforward/group.

I'd love to see you there, and let's have a deeper conversation about what's going on with you so I can help you break free of this. And then, yes, you can get on to those other two episodes, and you can figure out what you need to to fix those things. This is this is the big one. I saved the biggest for last. You have to have an emotional why. You have to want it more than you want to stay the way you are. There's a lot in our way, but the why drives you through it. So if you don't care enough, you won't do it.

I think you care enough. So let's go have the conversation at the Facebook group.

Music by Dave Gerhart


The following listeners have sponsored this show by pledging on our Patreon Page:

– Anne Lynch– Ken McQuade– Leigh Tanner
– Eliza Lamb– John Dachauer– Tim Alexander

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