Gretchen Rubin’s new book entitled The Four Tendencies is a primer to explain the various ways in which different personalities respond to expectations. Gretchen explains that these expectations are largely classified as outer, such as work demands or others’ requests, and inner, those that we expect or desire of ourselves.
The four tendencies are described as:
1. Upholders – those who meet both outer and inner expectations
2. Questioners – those who question all expectations, but will meet expectations if they meet their own standards
3. Obligers – those who readily meet outer expectations but struggle to meet inner expectations
4. Rebels – those who resist all expectations, both inner and outer
Gretchen explains that the most common tendency is the obliger, with questioners being the second most popular tendency. The extremes are rebels and upholders.
In sticking with a fitness program, Gretchen shares strategies to suit the four different tendencies:
1. Upholders – Once it’s an internal want, anything they try will likely work because they are motivated by both inner and outer expectations.
2. Questioners – It’s all about justification and getting to the fundamental question of “Why?” All questions need to be answered. Questioners love customization and want things to be efficient.
3. Obligers – Building in accountability with accountability groups is a great idea. Outer accountability is the key to success.
4. Rebels – They may be turned off by reminders to do something. They always have to feel it and want it. Make sure they know it’s always an option.
Gretchen explains that it’s very difficult to change one’s fundamental nature. It would be much easier to change conditions or situation to suit your natural tendency.
To connect with Gretchen Rubin or to learn more about The Four Tendencies, visit http://www.gretchenrubin.com or listen to her podcast, Happier with Gretchen Rubin. You can take the Four Tendencies Quiz at http://www.happiercast.com/quiz.
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